I acknowledge you have a purpose, it's true I honestly do. The problem is you reach far beyond what you were created for. You have taken the wheel in my life, you have picked the radio station and been my GPS. You didn't even make things exciting for me, you played lousy music and your directions kept me on the same scared and small road without any cool sights to see. As Maddi (my daughter) would say, what a bummer. I totes agree with Maddi right about now.
Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book Big Magic, that fear had her living a very mundane and boring life. Then I began to realize this was not only Gilbert's truth but also mine.
Fear you had me living in a tiny little box with no windows. Creativity wasn't able to be birthed inside that box. In fact, fear you had me believing I wasn't creative at all. I honestly believed I wasn't creative. Now I sit here and think about how ridiculous that is. How could I not be creative? The master creator, the one who spoke the world into place and knitted me together in my mother's womb is the ultimate creator, the one who I come from, so not being creative myself simply isn't possible. I now believe that each and every one of us is creative, we just express our creativity in different ways, which makes it all the more beautiful.
I once thought that I would kick you out of the car altogether. There was a lot of that talk online in the many Facebook groups I was in and it seemed like "the" thing to do. I mean it seemed long overdue anyhow. But now I see that is not necessary. You can remain in my car, I am totally ok with that, because I know I can still take action while I feel you breathe down my neck. But I need to let you in on a few things before we move ahead. I am no longer allowing you to take the wheel, change the radio station, even give me musical suggestions, much less be my GPS. You need not approve this either.
I can't help but feel like you knew this was coming. Over the past eleven months, I've begun to ignore you in ways I never have, little by little, only more often than before. I've tasted creativity, I've realized I am creative, I've realized I must express it, I've realized how fun and beautiful my life can be when I am the one driving my car with God as my GPS.
I'm only writing to let you know that from now on when you attempt to convince me to put on my emergency brake I'm only going to look you in the eye from the rear view mirror and step on the gas. So make sure your seatbelt is on tight.
The days when you ran my life are behind me. You aren't strong enough to hold me back anymore. I see and I've tasted the endless possibilities my God is preparing me for. I am certain that my God will complete the good work He has begun in me. I know that far too many women need to hear my story and see what's possible for their life and I won't let you get in the way of that any longer.
Remember backseat driving is not allowed and anytime you attempt to do so I will only turn the volume on the radio up louder.
My calling is far greater than you are. I realize you are in shock by this point after all you were in charge of my life for such a long time. The time is long overdue, so here it is...
Goodbye fear, you no longer rule me.
To Dreams + Action,