One of the biggest and happiest days of my life was upon me. I knew it would change my life forever actually it would change all of our lives forever. I knew it would challenge me, it would provide safety, it would be full of ups and downs, and it caused me to be both excited and anxious.
My heart was beating much faster than it normally did. I had trouble getting my words out and my voice was shaking. He grabbed my hands and squeezed them firmly as he rubbed his thumbs across them. He was nervous as well I could tell he was also struggling to get his worlds out. We were both a nervous yet excited wreck. In a strange way knowing that he was nervous as well made me feel a bit better.
I still had this thought come into my mind Staci, are you good enough it questioned. Are you good enough to be his wife? What is he gaining by becoming your husband? Does he know you well enough to know he's making the right choice? Will he later realize that I've messed up a lot in my past and I'm still not completely sure of who I am?
My inner critic was up there having the time of her life. She was replaying old memories that I was least proud of. You see at that time in my life I had not put in the work to shut her up most of the time. She still had free range up there telling me whatever she pleased all while I felt worse about myself.
However, there was still this small voice inside accompanied by a drop of hope that said it wasn't too late to live a life of happiness. I am forever grateful for that small voice that hung in their despite all that I went through in my past. When our past try's to come back up we have to remember that the known (which is our past) is prison. What happened in our past does not have to be our future or our present life. Release the known and embrace the unknown so that you can live the life you desire and that you deserve. Put your inner critic to sleep she's got to be tired after all that negative energy she's been putting off for all these years. It's time for you to let her know she doesn't know it all, that she's got it all wrong, that you are in fact GOOD ENOUGH. It's time to take that leap of faith and do something that makes you happy but challenges you at the same time.
Do you look back on your past experiences and find it almost impossible to see any good in them? If your anything like me you just answered yes to that question. It took some time and working with a coach to realize I had learned quite a bit, I was in fact, an extremely strong woman with a lot of courage and heart. I know that I'm not the only one, you are too! You just may not have realized it as of YET. Hang on to that word, YET...because that means it's coming! You will get there my dear!
You are worthy, valuable, beautiful, impressive, courageous, strong, compassionate, and deserve to live a life of happiness! I encourage you to begin living your life like that woman you desire to be would and see how things begin to fall into place. You got this girl and if you need a little help then you've got me.
P. S. Need help transforming the way you think about yourself, your abilities, and your life? Looking to gain confidence, to stop playing scared and small, to really discover happiness? I got you, girl just click here to signup for my DREAM BIGGER newsletter that is full of awesomeness each week to help you do just that.