It's like there has been this fog following me around from around the time I was 16 years old. I have moments of clarity but they are often so brief I am paralyzed when it comes to taking action. The times I make it into action I run into more fog and lose my footing so I fall off of my path stumbling around trying to find clarity again. It's a vicious, frustrating, and self-defeating cycle.
I recently had a huge fog following me around when it came to the direction in which I should take my business. You see I've always wanted to help people I just wasn't sure what form that would take on. This has been an area of major confusion and frustration for me over the years. Often times leaving me helping no one.
I began questioning why it was so hard to figure this out. All I wanted to do was help people in a way that felt right to me. In a way, that would allow me to truly connect with others. Why, oh why was this so hard? I would find myself looking around at the ways in which other's were helping, the visibility they were gaining, the clients they were bringing in, the opportunities they were being given, the confidence in their products and/or services, all which lead me to have this sense of defeat, confusion, and frustration. Despite all these negative feelings there was still this small amount of hope within me. I knew I had not found that clarity I was searching for and I knew I couldn't settle for what worked for others. So I kept going, I kept praying, and I kept searching for answers.
Recently I've been listening to this song by Mandisa, called "What if we were real" and I've been amazed at how it's helped me figure out my next right step. I began to notice things clicking inside of my mind and deep within my soul. What a relief this was!
I was already aware that I've come through many difficult times during my short time here on earth. Something I wasn't so aware of was how I could use those experiences to help other women. Thank you God, for making light bulbs go off in abundance. I now know my next step and you're about to know it as well.
This blog will now be dedicated to me sharing my brokenness, to stop making everything look so nice, and instead share my crazy mess, as Mandisa says so beautifully. I believe God can and will use me by me being vulnerable and sharing my imperfections.
Here's to letting the haters I've always feared hate. Am I ready? No. But it's not about me feeling or being ready. It's about me stepping out in faith because I feel He's calling me. I am trusting in the Lord and doing something that makes me quite uncomfortable.
I encourage you to listen to what He's putting on your heart as well.
Until next time blessings, love, and gratitude,